In the last article, I spoke about the power of what we say to ourselves. I gave an example of how my limiting self-talk could have stopped me doing something I now love…
Another example of the power of self-talk is what you say to yourself in tempting food situations. The ‘easy way out’ is simply to extend your hand, put that piece of ‘whatever’ in your mouth, and not say much to yourself at all. The thing is, you can’t escape your internal dialogue! Even at a subconscious level, we are always saying something to ourself – whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.
If we don’t consciously say the right things to ourselves, our subconscious will take over and make the choice based on our values at that moment in time - which is probably ‘That looks good and probably tastes good, so I’m going to eat it’
There are various strategies I use to help me in these situations. All of our choices start with our thoughts and our self-talk. So I decided to start paying more attention to the words that I say to myself when there is fattening food in front of me that smells delicious. If this food is not on my ‘list of things that will get me to my goals’, I have to say the right things to myself to remind me that this food is ‘not my goal’. Otherwise, my emotions (and naughty hand) will take over.
I never used to dream of doing this. When I saw something I wanted to eat, my internal dialogue would go something like -
‘You deserve that.
You want that.
You can work it off at the gym.
Everyone else gets to eat it, why not you?
You train hard.
It’s only a one-off…’
…and off I’d go – finding any way to justify my decision. But I was only fooling myself.
When I decided I started wanting to drop body fat and fit my clothes better, I had to change the way I thought – I had to learn to focus on the benefits of making the right choices, and not make excuses. I’m not saying I always get it right, and I certainly am never perfect; but now making good choices literally happens on auto-pilot. It’s taken time, but it’s now much less of a mental battle to say ‘no’ to things that don’t line up with my nutrition values and goals.
Whenever you say no to something, you’re saying yes to something else.
There is always a reward. Focus on the reward, and the pain of saying no diminishes.
Focus on the pain, and you’re more likely to feel weak willed and deprived.
When I look at junk food that is sure to make me put on weight, I tell myself ‘Not my goal’ and mentally put a hand up signalling ‘stop’. Mentally, when I’m sticking to a nutrition plan I’ve set for myself I shake my head at such food, and view it as an ‘enemy’ – something that will take me further from my goals – not to mention make me feel bloated and gross.
It now takes a very weak and rare moment for me to cave in. I plan my ‘free’ meals and snacks – and enjoy them guilt-free. They rarely happen ‘accidentally’ any more. And it’s such a free way to live.
The other night I sat at a restaurant with some friends and the Waitress plopped my friend’s garlic bread right down in front of me. The aroma filled my nostrils and my mouth instantly starting watering. Ohhh did I have to fight not to grab a piece. Luckily, my friends know my goals. If you don’t tell people your goals, you have an ‘out’ and no accountability. Also, I have build up some pretty strong self-talk to help me. Here’s what works for me in this situation. I quietly think to myself ‘Just because it smells good doesn’t mean I have to eat it.’ Or I say ‘I don’t need that’ or ‘That’s not going to beat me’. Another powerful statement is ‘That will be gone in a few minutes and I’ll have to deal with the decision for a lot longer after-wards’. I have a private little conversation with myself and turn it into a fun game that I’m destined to win. Call me strange, but it works for me.
We need to learn to attach pleasurable feelings to the pursuit of our goals.
I believe everything we do with our body either hurts us, or helps us. When I’m presented with various food choices, I ask myself ‘Is this in line with my goals?’ If my goal is to be healthy and to weigh the weight I want to weight, that’s what I base my decisions on. Not emotions, not taste, not price, not social pressure and not a few minutes of pleasure. Like anything worthwhile in life, I believe ‘delayed gratification’ always pays huge dividends – and the feeling of accomplishment lasts a lot longer than the taste that food in your mouth does!
Every food we choose to eat either takes us closer to our goal, or further away.
I’ve never tasted a food that gives me the kind of feeling that I get from waking up after a day of good eating, with a flat stomach and a sense of pride in my choices. So, in situations where I may potentially forget how good this feels, I can use the power of my ‘self-talk’ to remind myself. Sometimes I’ve literally had to go and look at myself in the mirror and tell myself things like ‘Kat, you know you feel great after you say No. You feel powerful and in control. You really want that feeling. You really love that sense of satisfaction. Your goals are more important to you than this fleeting moment.’
Remember – it’s your body and your goals. Choosing a certain food doesn’t make you a bad or weak person. No one should judge you on your decisions and we all have the right to put into our body whatever we want. But it’s important to make sure your choices are in line with your own personal values, and that your choices are deliberate, not ‘Oops, why’d I do that?’ and then waste your mental energy dwelling on it.
Spending some time thinking about your values is a very useful exercise and a very wise investment of your time.
By disciplining yourself to make your decisions according to your goals and values, I promise – the results you will achieve will DEFINITELY be worth the effort.
And if I catch you in a restaurant pausing before you reach for the bread basket or dessert menu, I know you’ll be having that private little conversation in your own head too. 
Yours in good health,
Kat
Posted by Kat 
