Article – The Power of Self-Talk 2

In the last article, I spoke about the power of what we say to ourselves. I gave an example of how my limiting self-talk could have stopped me doing something I now love…

Another example of the power of self-talk is what you say to yourself in tempting food situations. The ‘easy way out’ is simply to extend your hand, put that piece of ‘whatever’ in your mouth, and not say much to yourself at all. The thing is, you can’t escape your internal dialogue! Even at a subconscious level, we are always saying something to ourself – whether we choose to acknowledge it or not.

If we don’t consciously say the right things to ourselves, our subconscious will take over and make the choice based on our values at that moment in time - which is probably ‘That looks good and probably tastes good, so I’m going to eat it’

There are various strategies I use to help me in these situations. All of our choices start with our thoughts and our self-talk. So I decided to start paying more attention to the words that I say to myself when there is fattening food in front of me that smells delicious. If this food is not on my ‘list of things that will get me to my goals’, I have to say the right things to myself to remind me that this food is ‘not my goal’. Otherwise, my emotions (and naughty hand) will take over.

I never used to dream of doing this. When I saw something I wanted to eat, my internal dialogue would go something like -

‘You deserve that.
You want that.
You can work it off at the gym.
Everyone else gets to eat it, why not you?
You train hard.
It’s only a one-off…’

…and off I’d go – finding any way to justify my decision. But I was only fooling myself.

When I decided I started wanting to drop body fat and fit my clothes better, I had to change the way I thought – I had to learn to focus on the benefits of making the right choices, and not make excuses. I’m not saying I always get it right, and I certainly am never perfect; but now making good choices literally happens on auto-pilot. It’s taken time, but it’s now much less of a mental battle to say ‘no’ to things that don’t line up with my nutrition values and goals.

Whenever you say no to something, you’re saying yes to something else.
There is always a reward. Focus on the reward, and the pain of saying no diminishes.
Focus on the pain, and you’re more likely to feel weak willed and deprived.

When I look at junk food that is sure to make me put on weight, I tell myself ‘Not my goal’ and mentally put a hand up signalling ‘stop’. Mentally, when I’m sticking to a nutrition plan I’ve set for myself I shake my head at such food, and view it as an ‘enemy’ – something that will take me further from my goals – not to mention make me feel bloated and gross.

It now takes a very weak and rare moment for me to cave in. I plan my ‘free’ meals and snacks – and enjoy them guilt-free. They rarely happen ‘accidentally’ any more. And it’s such a free way to live.

The other night I sat at a restaurant with some friends and the Waitress plopped my friend’s garlic bread right down in front of me. The aroma filled my nostrils and my mouth instantly starting watering. Ohhh did I have to fight not to grab a piece. Luckily, my friends know my goals. If you don’t tell people your goals, you have an ‘out’ and no accountability. Also, I have build up some pretty strong self-talk to help me. Here’s what works for me in this situation. I quietly think to myself ‘Just because it smells good doesn’t mean I have to eat it.’ Or I say ‘I don’t need that’ or ‘That’s not going to beat me’. Another powerful statement is ‘That will be gone in a few minutes and I’ll have to deal with the decision for a lot longer after-wards’. I have a private little conversation with myself and turn it into a fun game that I’m destined to win. Call me strange, but it works for me.

We need to learn to attach pleasurable feelings to the pursuit of our goals.

I believe everything we do with our body either hurts us, or helps us. When I’m presented with various food choices, I ask myself ‘Is this in line with my goals?’ If my goal is to be healthy and to weigh the weight I want to weight, that’s what I base my decisions on. Not emotions, not taste, not price, not social pressure and not a few minutes of pleasure. Like anything worthwhile in life, I believe ‘delayed gratification’ always pays huge dividends – and the feeling of accomplishment lasts a lot longer than the taste that food in your mouth does!

Every food we choose to eat either takes us closer to our goal, or further away.

I’ve never tasted a food that gives me the kind of feeling that I get from waking up after a day of good eating, with a flat stomach and a sense of pride in my choices. So, in situations where I may potentially forget how good this feels, I can use the power of my ‘self-talk’ to remind myself. Sometimes I’ve literally had to go and look at myself in the mirror and tell myself things like ‘Kat, you know you feel great after you say No. You feel powerful and in control. You really want that feeling. You really love that sense of satisfaction. Your goals are more important to you than this fleeting moment.’

Remember – it’s your body and your goals. Choosing a certain food doesn’t make you a bad or weak person. No one should judge you on your decisions and we all have the right to put into our body whatever we want. But it’s important to make sure your choices are in line with your own personal values, and that your choices are deliberate, not ‘Oops, why’d I do that?’ and then waste your mental energy dwelling on it.

Spending some time thinking about your values is a very useful exercise and a very wise investment of your time.

By disciplining yourself to make your decisions according to your goals and values, I promise – the results you will achieve will DEFINITELY be worth the effort.

And if I catch you in a restaurant pausing before you reach for the bread basket or dessert menu, I know you’ll be having that private little conversation in your own head too.

Yours in good health,
Kat

Article – The Power of Self-talk

The Power of Self-Talk

The most important conversations you will ever have, are the conversations you have with yourself. We spend most of our time in our own head, so what we say to ourselves not only affects how we feel, but how we act. Imagine the difference we’d achieve in our productivity if our ‘self-talk’ was always framed in the positive!

Numerous studies show the importance of our internal talk and how if we say the right things to ourselves, we are much more likely to succeed in our health and fitness journey.

Right now, start thinking about the images or thoughts that come into your head on a day-to-day basis that affect the actions that you take.

For example, when it comes to thinking about the word ‘exercise’. Do you conjure up images of pure pain? Or pure joy?

How about the word ‘nutrition’? Do you get thoughts of bland, boring food and the idea of missing out on ‘fun’? Or do you think about healthy, life-giving, energy-providing foods?

The types of thoughts that go through your head when you hear, say or read certain words, are there because of your conditioning and habitual repetition. Changing our thoughts and self-talk is like any skill – it can be learned. We can change our habits; including the habit of thinking thoughts and images that we associate with certain words or actions. Changing these thoughts and our ‘internal dialogue’ just takes practice and repetition!

We can ‘condition’ our mind, just like we condition our muscles, to literally reprogram themselves when it comes to our self-talk.

For example, I used to hate running and even the word itself would make me feel sick! It would take me back to those dreaded P.E classes at schools where teachers made us poor kids do cross-country – without any prior training! I remember feeling so sick I thought I was going to faint, and my teacher saying ‘You probably just drank too much water’. Horrible. So needless to say, it could have quite easily put me off something I now love. When I was in my late teen’s, I’d often drive home after a hard night out and see people running down the streets at about 9am and say to myself ‘Crazy people!’I couldn’t believe that people would actually choose to run! I had programmed my mind to think that running was as painful as it was on those P.E days in winter in our horrible school uniform… One day I realised that I had stereo-typed ‘those types of people’ and how I had made a perfectly wonderful activity so awful in my mind. I realised ‘those people’ could actually be me. In my thoughts, I had labelled ‘runners’ a certain way and it was limiting me. I wanted to be able to run, I was just put off because it seemed so difficult.

I had to change my mindset; which involved changing my self-talk – and I’m so glad that I did. Instead of telling myself ‘they’re crazy’ I started looking at them with respect and saying to myself ‘You could do that’. Long story short, I now love running – and have been doing it consistently for over ten years; but only because I pursued it and persevered.

Yes, it was hard and horrible at first. My heart rate soared so fast and I felt like my lungs were burning! But I would keep telling myself ‘I love running, I love the results, I love seeing my legs changing shape, I love feeling fit’. I literally had to repeat this over and over until I believed it. Over time, my brain started to realise that actually, I was speaking truth. My logical mind just had to catch up. I didn’t realise it then, but I could have actually built up my fitness slower, so that I enjoyed it more initially; rather than pushing myself so hard I was putting myself off heading off for my run! But the point is, all of our actions – including exercise, start off as a thought. And what we associate with those thoughts, give us a powerful reason on what action to take.

Change always takes place in the mind first.

What limiting self-talk has stopped you taking the actions that will get you closer to your goals?